Subtle Signs You May Be Overwhelmed
As someone who’s a therapist, a mom, a wife, and a friend, it can feel like I’m holding it all together. In fact, this is something that I often see with clients. They wear so many hats successfully, that everything seems okay. They are reaching goals at work. They are showing up for their kids’ dance competitions. They are responding to the 57 emails they have a day, along with the 22 text messages and 3 missed calls. But just because things seem okay, many women internally feel very different. Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t always look like falling apart. Rather, it can be holding it all together, at a cost. Here are three subtle signs that you might be overwhelmed, even if you are still functioning.
Everything Feels Urgent
It’s hard to stay focused with your brain jumping from task to task. Between emails, texts, deadlines, and errands, your mind is running a constant sprint across your mental to-do-list and nothing feels finished. Everything feels like it has to get done, and get done now. It’s also hard to distinguish the order of what to get done, and how important things are. I see this a lot with my clients who are parents. Every little ask from your kids feels like it has to be done NOW or else. It also comes up with my clients who are working professionals. That slack message from Nancy about wrapping up a project makes you feel as if you need to stop everything and complete it. When you are overwhelmed, there’s a sense that everything has to get done in this instant, or else something awful may happen.
You’re Productive But Exhausted
Even if you are getting things done at work, reaching goals, and hitting deadlines, you actually feel drained or tapped out by the end of the day. It feels like you can never catch up on sleep, and you keep chugging coffee just to stay awake. Then when all you want to do is sleep, you find yourself scrolling on your phone, or binge watching TV. That feeling of tiredness is your brain telling your body, “I’m doing too much” but you aren’t doing enough to fill up your own cup.
Small Things Feel Like Too Much
The decision fatigue hits hard. Whether it’s picking what to eat, responding to messages, making plans or starting a simple task, you feel incredibly overwhelmed. Sometimes, instead of making a choice, you avoid decisions completely. This isn’t being lazy, or a lack of discipline, but it’s a sign that your mental load is maxed out. When your brain is overloaded with way too many demands, it loses the ability to process simple choices which can turn everyday moments into sources of stress. You also may find yourself getting irritated easily. That friend that tells you “oh I don’t care, you pick where we eat,” feels like they just told you the worst news possible. These feelings and thoughts are not personal failures, but signs that you are doing too much and it is time to slow down.
Why This Goes Unnoticed and What to Do
A lot of high-achieving women, especially women with ADHD, don’t realize they’re overwhelmed because they’re still functioning. You are taking care of your family, getting things done at work, and maintaining a social calendar. But just because you are functioning, it doesn’t mean you feel okay. Therapy can help you slow down, understand what your brain needs, and build systems that actually support you. Setting boundaries, talking about your feelings and taking time for yourself are all ways to help decrease the feeling of overwhelm, and get back to feeling like yourself.
